Letting Go of Control
... and getting so much more in return
Apparently, you can care about having beautiful family photos without controlling every detail. (Who knew?)
In the past, I would have managed everyone’s outfits, watched the clock and spent far too long fixing my curls. I wanted everyone to look good. I wanted things to go smoothly. I wanted beautiful photos to remember it all by.
You know... creating a beautiful family memory by making everyone slightly miserable beforehand.
This time, everyone wore what they wanted.
About an hour and a half before we left, I was lying under our tree with Philippe, listening to music.
Eventually I thought, I should probably shower.
When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t reach for the curling iron. My hair looked good. These were my curls that day.
And that was enough.
I let myself be there, too.
We biked to places we love. Places where we swim and watch sunsets.
I didn’t ask to see the back of the photographer’s camera. I didn’t check my hair or makeup. I just enjoyed being there.
I had one brief controlling moment... but I noticed it, took a breath and let it pass.
I still cared about the photos. I still wanted everyone to have a good time. I just wasn’t making myself responsible for managing every part of the experience.
And (surprise surprise) when I was calmer, everyone seemed calmer, too.
I could let them be themselves and let myself be there, too.
And now we have the photos...
Yes, they are gorgeous!!
But they’re also fun and real and joyful... a beautiful reflection of our family.
I love looking at them and remembering how good that afternoon felt.
That’s part of what makes them so special to me. I remember enjoying the moments they captured.
Here are a few of my favourites.
Making room for yourself in the experiences you care about
This is part of the Selfish Revolution for me. Loving yourself enough to stop abandoning yourself... even in the little things.
I can get so focused on making an experience good for everyone else that I forget I’m allowed to enjoy it, too.
That afternoon, I gave myself room to be part of the memory I wanted us to make.
And looking at these photos, I’m so glad I did.
Where do you get so busy making an experience perfect that you forget to enjoy it?
These photos were taken by Selina Whittaker. If you’re in the Toronto area and looking for a photographer, reach out to her!